What do you cling to with all of your might? What takes all of your strength to keep as yours?
What makes you cry out and up and shout all about, “This is mine…
This child is mine
This un-forgiveness is mine
This husband is mine
This health is mine
This pleasure is mine
This money is mine
This house is mine
This life is mine
This anger is mine
This path is mine
This dream is mine
…I will not let it go and You, God, cannot have it!”
I remember like it was yesterday- half my life ago after my second divorce- driving in the pouring rain, hardly able to see for the tears streaming down my cheeks, screaming up to God in heaven with my fist clenched in mid-air as if to make my point, “I am going to be happy if it is the last thing I ever do! I will have this man no matter what it takes and You can’t stop me. I deserve this!”
Clenched fist. Gritted teeth. They tell a tale.
And that which I grasped so tightly slipped right through my fingers. The desire to keep that which I thought would bring me life, brought me right to the brink of suicide. Like Gallum in Lord of the Rings, I became deformed by my obsession to obtain that which I craved, as I cried out continually, “My precious! My precious!”
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it.”
If you are desperate to gain that which you think will bring you true life and joy, let me remind you today that unless it is Christ, you will lose it. The truth is this, your obsession is nothing more than doubt. You doubt that God not only can give you the pleasure you so desire but you doubt that He is the pleasure you so desire. And my sweet friend, doubt will always deform, while faith will always transform.
Whatever your “this” is today let it go. Say to your heart, “This is His. It is not mine. I will not seek to take that which He has not given, nor cling to that which He would take.”
Un-clinch those fists. Open wide your hands. You have no idea what He might fill them up with! Only open hands can receive what He so freely gives…true life, abundant life, found only in Christ.
“I came that they might have life and might have it abundantly.” John 10:10